Quick, Get Me Some Sage!

I play Dungeons & Dragons once a week with engineers from the company Mister used to work for. Mister was asked, but declined and said, my wife will do it.

D&D: It's so silly it's awesome. 

Round One, I played a gnome thief with terrible thieving and sneaking skills. Seriously, in almost every instance, I failed to open a lock, pick a pocket, and when I tried to shoot a (ginormous) spider, I shot someone in my group in the back (with an arrow).

The glory moment came when all but one of our party were wiped out in an attempt to break into a fortress. The one who survived, our magician, was off learning spells. The retelling of the whole fight was hilarious. Could it be funny to anyone who doesn't play D&D? Here we are, four of us trying to overtake a fortress. Smooth walls guarded by wizards and fighters. While trying to eavesdrop on the guards,, I tripped and rolled into the tower. Then a rock squished me. I set off an alarm, which sent out fighters and mages casting arrows and spells until the others in my party fell one by one. As if that weren't enough, we were all eaten by a dragon.

Seriously, who talks like this?

image from www.flickr.com

A shot of the worst pile of dice ever. Need to roll high? You'll roll a three. Need to roll low? You'll hit an 18. There's not enough sage in the world to smudge the crappy rolls from these things. Of course, I could go buy new dice, but that means finding the store and getting there. With Rabbit and Bama.

The players were given a second chance. I came back as a centaur. Centaurs are perfect for me because they are, as a race, a little prickly. I am, in general, a little pricky. No need for acting!

I'd like to thank Dr. Nobody for introducing me to the geeky joys of D&D. 

Quick, Get Me Some Sage!

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